It’s been a while since I’ve blogged and what better time to jump back into blogging than my one year anniversary of my fitness journey! As this anniversary was approaching, I started sharing more and more about my personal experience living with a chronic illness and since doing so, I’ve been getting asked TONS of questions about it. If I forgot any questions feel free to comment any more you may have so I can add them on!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This is kind of a jam packed question but here’s a condensed version…
My diagnosis is interstitial cystitis and stage 3 endometriosis which then resulted in pelvic floor dysfunction. Interstitial cystitis is a chronic condition causing bladder pressure, bladder pain and pelvic pain. The lining of my bladder has cuts and ulcers and trigger foods and beverages cause an increase in pain. Any form of physical activity also causes an increase in pain. I have constant sharp pelvic pain and rarely get relief. Yes, I am uncomfortable ALL OF THE TIME. Endometriosis is a disorder in which tissue that normally lines the uterus grows outside the uterus. Symptoms for me include: pelvic pressure and pain, severe bloating, painful periods, and cyst ruptures. Pelvic floor dysfunction is the inability to control the muscles of your pelvic floor. My PFD causes pain in my pelvis, abdomen, lower back, and glutes. Exercising hurts and the pain lasts much longer after the workout is complete when I am flaring.
WILL YOU EVER GET BETTER?
Unfortunately no. My conditions are chronic which means they are life long. I am on both pain and nerve inhibiting medications to help ease discomfort and I also attend pelvic floor physical therapy weekly to help ease muscle tension. Currently there is no cure for any of my conditions but I am hopeful that there one day will be.
HOW ARE YOU ABLE TO KEEP A POSITIVE ATTITUDE WITH WHAT YOU’RE DEALING WITH?
This question…
After receiving my diagnosis, I acted as if it was a death sentence and wasted 2 months pouting in my bed. Yes, I cried all day, everyday feeling sorry for myself and truthfully, the stress I was creating myself was causing an increase in pain. It took two long months of extreme discomfort, circumstantial anorexia, and lots of tears shed to realize that this way of living wasn’t going to do anything to get me better. I remember taking a long look at myself in the mirror while touching my protruding bones. I took a picture to document myself at my lowest point and since that day, I have had a major attitude adjustment.
Of course I have plenty of days where my attitude isn’t great and those come on days where I’m more symptomatic than others. It’s incredibly hard living in constant discomfort especially when it’s invisible to the human eye. Yes, I am absolutely terrified thinking of an older version of myself still dealing with this. It is literally giving me anxiety right now just thinking about it. But I can’t let it get to me because then my illness will win and I won’t let that happen. I do my best to hide the pain and not talk about it because it tends to make people uncomfortable which is understandable! I do have to say though that it takes mental toughness to not sink back into that hole I was once in.
When I started my fitness journey, I told myself that I wouldn’t complain no matter how uncomfortable I am and I wouldn’t pout over not being able to do specific exercises. When I first started exercising in October of 2019, I was unable to do any high-impact exercises, running, or ab work. We are now in October of 2020 and I am able to do all of the things I originally wasn’t able to do. I am truly grateful and proud of myself for finding a way to exercise and turn this terrible circumstance into something positive. I show up everyday, and I do it with a smile on my face. I have plans to beat this illness and I plan on doing it through exercise, not by laying in my bed.
HOW ARE YOU ABLE TO WORKOUT WHEN YOU’RE IN PAIN?
Truthfully, some days the pain is so bad that I am unable to exercise. Those days really suck but luckily they are few and far between now! For someone who was told that they’d be unable to exercise again, I’ll take what I can get! My first session at OrangeTheory resulted in me leaving class early and back in the hospital.
But let’s just say that I’m mid workout and I feel an increase in pain, I find a way to push through it because the increase in pain is (usually) temporary. The only time I can’t hide how uncomfortable I am is when I am running on the treadmill – my running turns into what I call “hobbling” real quick.
All I can is that it helps to have supportive people around me to get me through my workouts and I have built plenty of friendships with coaches, gym-goers, and fellow ICers to keep going!
WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE?
I have a baseline pain of 2 which will never go away. I constantly feel pressure which is dull and achy in my pelvis and can’t seem to find relief. When I have an increase in pain, that dull achy feeling turns sharp – almost like having shards of glass floating around my pelvis. The pain has put me in the hospital a number of times if that gives you any perspective on how bad it is!
WHAT IS YOUR GOAL?
My goal is to continue exercising and raising awareness for an illness that nobody knows about. I’ve raised a lot of money for the IC foundation that goes to research in hopes of one day having a cure for it. Lastly, I want to find comfort in the fact that my illnesses are invisible and try to not get upset when able-bodied people can’t understand that I do not feel well. I struggle tremendously reading and hearing comments over how easily it must be for me to maintain my body – and let me tell you, this body came from hard work.
